Happiness through Knowledge

I lost someone and life was expecting me to break down;

I said to life; I knew it; nothing lasts in this phenomenal world.

They hated me and I felt nothing in return; no aversion

I said to life; you hate whom you love and I choose to ignore

I was losing parts by parts of my body; and I felt not need for its upkeep

I said to life; when the most beautiful also loses his/ her sheen

Who am I then to long to that that's perishable

When left abandoned; life laughed out at me

I was fine; never expected that all will be forever

As I cross forty; I live and expect to fall sick, perish and die in whatever form it may be

I lived and welcome life and so will I welcome death

But not impatiently; since life and death happens without us waiting for it

Little that I had to or could do something for some

But they must abandon me; they must move on and I too will

It may make me cry but not suffer since old has to go and the new come.

In my worst suffering, on my deathbed; nothing matters and nor am I conscious of any

So why should there be suffering when I go through ups and downs

After all either I will get lost to others or others will get lost to me.

I do not deserve joy, elation, highs without the pain, depression and the lows

I accept self-annihilation before I get ruined by the mindset that it's chasing me.

I feel no envy for those who are in their highs while I am at my lows

I know I am better than some, but worse than some

You make me feel envious of all making me feel all are happy

But we have to jump off the cliff to die and never on the plains

But the higher am I or the one; the fall is imminent and thunderous.

Life! I will not suffer when I know you and will further know you and your nature;

I will go beyond you, and beyond reason which my may sometime want me to fall trapped to.

I will better not understand you than understanding you work

I will hate none; love none; I will make you obsolete; Life and your course and nature